Hey Coach John

The Anatomy of a Failure

There is tremendous power in “unpacking” your failures.

I was embarrassed! I had just sat through an entire meeting, grossly misunderstanding its agenda and purpose. It finally dawned on me - I wasn't on the same page as everyone else. I had even made a few ignorant comments.  Much to my dismay, I hadn't thoroughly read the memo. Luckily, there were only a handful of people at the meeting.

As I walked away from the meeting I felt about two inches tall - know what I mean? As I sat down at my desk, I felt the Lord nudge me, encouraging me to make this a learning experience. So I grabbed my pen and began to jot down the specific lessons I needed to learn from this real-life blunder.

What did I learn? Basically, I learned the tremendous power found in "unpacking a failure." I grasped the power of learning from ones mistakes and how to reflect on a situation, remove the mud from my face, and turn it into a valuable lesson.

So what is the anatomy of a failure? To me, the anatomy of a failure is the ability to distill and unpack life's mistakes, then repackage it so that you and others can benefit from it. Please understand, I'm not suggesting we air our dirty laundry. I'm just reminding us that failure is a part of every successful person’s life. Why not learn from it?

Here's how I unpack failure:

1. Always take time to review the situation

All emotional experiences contain information. They contain powerful clues so take time to jot down what you saw, how you felt. Pull aside for a few minutes and capture the feeling of the moment - then record it.

Always take time to review what just happened, while it's fresh.

2. What did I learn from my failure?

I learned that you and I have to make a choice to ignore the nagging voice of failure and instead, must make it a learning experience. Accept it for what it is - then move on. Ask yourself, what are the lessons I learned?

Believe me; I jotted down many lessons as I dissected the above mentioned failure. Valuable lessons are waiting to be learned from your failures too.

3. Given a similar situation, how will I respond next time?

I’ve learned that it’s good to also make a list of things you won't do next time, or maybe things you will do! I did that several years ago, after a lengthy building program during my pastoral days. I still have the list! Today, it would be timely advice for those in building programs.

You haven’t learned anything until you can say “that won’t happen again!”

4. What is God saying to me in the midst of this?

It is important to ask yourself, “Did I recognize God in the situation?” Remember, I made the statement; God nudged me and admonished me to move on - to make this a learning experience?

Write down what you feel God is saying - even if you're not sure. The pen helps clarify what the mind conceives.

Conclusion:

The anatomy of a failure can be painful; however, many distilling principles can be learned from failure. By the way, I've never attended another meeting haphazardly! I have been well prepared and fully cognizant.

Think about Jesus' experience; Hebrews 5:8 says "though He was perfect, yet He learned obedience through the things He suffered." What are you learning? Never fail to learn from failure.

Coach John

Works cited: Transformational Leadership Coaching Notes, Umidi, Joseph

Lessons Learned from a Cliff Hanger

Hard challenges are great morale boosters

The alarm went off at 5:00am. It was a special day; my son had invited me to go rock climbing in the Witchita Mountains in southwest Oklahoma. Soon we were on the road, bright and early. The fall foliage colored the landscape with bright reds and unique yellows, the air – crisp and clean. A perfect day for climbing!

It was a first for me. However, my son Andy is an experienced and talented climber. (See below footnote about Andy) After arriving at the park, he led the way as we hiked forty-five minutes across the boulder dotted landscape.

We traversed by wild buffalo, deer and who knows what other kinds of critters! Finally we arrived at a rock formation called “The Lost Dome.” Before I knew it, I was “on the wall,” making my first ever climb.

As I reflected back on the day, I suddenly realized I had learned many valuable lessons. I’d like to share some of them as a tribute to my son, who is a great young man. Here’s what I learned:

1. With proper coaching, you can accomplish great feats

Honestly, I was a little intimidated as I looked up at the 90 foot granite wall. However, Andy coached me step by step, explaining about my equipment, and the climb. Only with his help, was this even possible.

Lesson learned: We must have others to help us on the journey of life. We can’t get it done without them.

Relationships are important aren’t they? Are you connected with anyone?

Prov. 27:17

2. Hard challenges are great morale boosters
I hate to admit it, but about ten feet up the wall I was ready to give up! I mean really! My hands hurt from the sharp granite, my toes, legs and arms were throbbing - in harmony!

The thought hounded me…”this is not good, a fifty-one year old man hanging on the side of a cliff!” After twenty minutes of taking it “one move at a time,” I made it to the top.

Lesson learned: Persistence pays great dividends. I really felt like I had accomplished something - I’m still pumped!

Rom. 5:3-5

3. We need comrades who will cheer us on.
One thing that really stood out was the camaraderie I witnessed at the slopes that day. It was like they all knew each other. (Really they didn’t!) .

Interestingly enough, I got stuck at one point, about seventy feet into the climb. One of the fellow rock climbers then climbed up next to me and gave me a few pointers. Imagine that! Then they climbed above me and took my picture. How neat!

Lesson learned: God sends us comrades to cheer us on as we walk through life; those willing to climb along side and help.

Heb. 12:1

Conclusion

I know none of this seems very spiritual. However, life itself is full of valuable lessons – teachable moments. I know I certainly experienced one this weekend. Proverbs tell us that wisdom speaks from the streets at the place where the paths meet. (Prov. 8:1-3)

Will I try climbing again? Sure! Will I become a pro? I doubt it! However, I did have a great time and learned some valuable lessons from my son, The Cliff Hanger!

Coach John

Andy Chasteen’s Bio:
Andy is a pro/amateur rock climber who is passionate about the sport. He is involved in organizing major rock climbing events around the country and was recently appointed as the regional contact person for Solid Rock Climbers for Christ, a national Christian Climbing Club.

Andy is thirty one years old. He lives in the OKC metro area. He works for Robert Half Financial Services in downtown OKC. If you would like to contact him, you may do so at andy.chasteen@gmail.com

Everyone Needs a Vacation!

Relaxation is a discipline that is planned and scheduled, anyone can do it

 

I’ve just returned from an enjoyable week of vacation in western Florida and I’ve come to one conclusion - vacations are a necessary part of life!

 

I make mention of this because many of us ministers/leaders have a difficult time allowing ourselves to unwind. I write this from experience, since it’s taken me several days to unwind too. I believe that God wants to teach each of us how to relax.

 

Surprisingly, relaxation is not natural for many. Pre-conditioned mindsets and unrelenting pressure to succeed produce a drive in us that doesn’t equate with relaxation.  However, scripture reveals that Jesus never condemned mankind for relaxing. As a matter of fact Jesus himself always seemed to be fresh and relaxed, almost as if He was on a vacation.  Not a bad way to live, huh?

 

So how do we learn to relax? What are the keys?  Well, here are a few keys, hopefully they will help.

 

1.          Don’t feel guilty for taking time off

Have you ever found yourself feeling guilty for taking time off?  I know I have.  My advice is don’t allow that to happen!

 

In the book of Mark, Jesus told His disciples to, “come apart for a while.” The implication is that if you don’t come apart for a while you will come apart in a while.

 

 2.          Don’t let yourself feel hurried

It has been said that hurry is the pace of the 21^st century. We have to understand that there is a huge difference between diligence and hurry. We must learn to pace ourselves.

 

I like what Joyce Meyer says, “Rushing begins in the mind, just as all actions do. “I have to hurry” is a thought pattern we must avoid.

 

3.          Learn to schedule regular relaxation into your life.

Relaxation is a discipline. It’s planned and scheduled, anyone can do it. It’s as simple as allowing your self the freedom to have a little get-away; whether it’s geographical or simply a frame of mind.

 

So, have you scheduled some relaxation time?

 

Conclusion

 

If the truth was known I’m not too excited about going back to the real world next week! However, I’m better equipped to face a hectic schedule because I’ve taken a few days off.  I’m recharged and ready for a busy summer of work and ministry. Are you?

 

How about it, are you vacating regularly? Go ahead plan that little get-away. Ahhh, how nice it is to relax.

 

Coach John

 

Works sited: In Pursuit of Peace, Joyce Meyer